Founded in June 2011, Paranoid is a guild for the socially awkward, the shy, the people who’d like to raid, but get a headache just thinking about all the things they could screw up. The people who type a message to someone who’s LFM in trade, then backspace, then type, backspace, type, stare at what they’ve written, backspace again and go quest on their own. And if they do press enter, they’re relieved if they get the reply: “Sorry, full.”
The people who’ve never seen Naxxramas or even vanilla dungeons, because the thought of grouping with strangers (or even guildies) freaks them out. The people who don’t like talking in gchat. The people who are actually quite lively in gchat, but refuse to speak on vent. The people who would like to try tanking, but haven’t gotten any further than taunting mobs off the NPCs on that pvp island between Conquest Hold and Amberpine Lodge in Grizzly Hills. The people who’d like to see all the game content, not just the stuff you can solo. But if you want to solo, you just do it, without others trying to press you into grouping/talking/whatever.
Paranoid is a no-pressure guild and we have completed several Cata raids. We don’t demand you have your mains with us, we don’t ask you to read tactics and/or watch videos (I know it doesn’t help me at all!), we don’t care if you make a mistake that wipes the raid (seriously, we’re too busy worrying about our own mistakes), we won’t think badly of you if you suddenly need a break if you can’t take it anymore and it won’t cost you a raid spot. If you’d like to join with an alt and raid with us on a main, that’s fine!
We aimed to bring a bunch of people together who get this. Really get it. We want to play with the like-minded, who also sometimes say: “I’m out of social energy. I have to go” or “I need to turn off gchat for a while.”
On 19 June, Paranoid turned 1 year old. Things are a little slow right now, in the run-up to MoP, so our party was modest but still fun! We have about 30-40 active members at the moment (out of approximately 100 total) and not all of them could make it. We also would have loved to see the people who are inactive now (although some keep in touch on the forums). After all, they helped to build Paranoid as well, but expecting them to pay a month’s sub for a party is a little much, we know… Still, you guys, we’re out here, being your Azerothian family and waiting for you to find your way home!
In the meantime, we had to be content with a surprise visit from one of our Inactives, Kiariss! It was fantastic to see you, Kia! So glad you could make it! <3
We raffled off some of the gold we’ve accumulated over the past year and threw an Oozeling in for good measure. Lots of booze was had by all and screenies mostly came out looking like that –>
Of course, a raid on Orgrimmar was required as well. Can’t have a Paranoid Party without /licking Garrosh Hellscream, now can we?
Somehow, we all died on top of Grommash Hold, which wasn’t incredibly convenient, as we had no way to get close enough to resurrect there. Spirit Healers were employed and Res Sicknesses contracted, and back we flew! Into the Orc’s den!
A brave Undead priest and later also a hunter tried to protect Garrosh’ innocence, but it was all in vain… Paranoid /licked and /slapped the Horde whelp and Ems even managed to steal his chair!
Here’s to another successfull year of Paranoid. May we all be shy and socially weird together! Hurrah!
Edit: There used to be a meme up there, hosted by Meme Creator. It was undoubtedly very funny, or I wouldn’t have posted it here. But Meme Creator broke the link, leaving only my not-as-helpful-as-I-thought-it-would-be image title of “Bonk!”
You will just have to imagine a very funny meme about Kalmah bonking something or someone. Soz about that.
A guildie posted this video to our forum and I thought I’d share it here, too. I had to pause it several times, because it was just so painful and recognisable to watch. It was also quite uplifting to see these people making progress, though. I hope it is of help to someone out there. 
Many thanks to Faust for the forum post!
